They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
