I cockslap morals
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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