what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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