i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
