I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
