Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
