Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
