We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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