Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
