So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
