When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
