I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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