The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
