Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
