My first STD was from a foam party
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
