What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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