god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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