I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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