we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
