Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Someone shit on the floor
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
