I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
