I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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