I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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