I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
