We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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