dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
