After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
