i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
