dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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