We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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