Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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