Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So many bounce houses so little time
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
