They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
