I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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