you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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