i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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