I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
