So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
