okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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