Sry I called you an 8
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
