i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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