It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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