I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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