I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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