turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
