Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
try to milk me bitch
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
