hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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