I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
