3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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