Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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