:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
