After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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