u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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