and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
