What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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