Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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